transmissions.exe

08.07.26

spit it out

it's 1999. you just got home from school. you drop your backpack by the front door. mtv is already on. then "spit it out." it wasn't comforting because it was soft. it was comforting because it wasn't.



released in 1999, "spit it out" arrived just as slipknot was beginning to redefine what heavy music could look like. directed by thomas mignone, the video pays tribute to stanley kubrick's the shining, recreating many of its most iconic scenes while mixing them with the band's unmistakable chaos

08.01.26

thoughts we don't choose

intrusive thoughts have a way of making us question ourselves.

sometimes they arrive so suddenly, and feel so unlike us, that we start wondering what they say about the kind of person we really are. we search for reassurance. we argue with them. we try to push them away. and somehow, they keep finding their way back.

maybe that's because we've been treating them like messages that need to be answered.

but a thought isn't the same thing as an intention. it isn't a prediction. it isn't a confession. it's just something the mind produced. some thoughts deserve our attention. others are little more than noise. learning the difference can take time.

what if, instead of asking, "why would i think something like this?" we asked a different question.

"what is this trying to protect?"

sometimes our minds reach for the worst thing they can imagine, not because that's who we are, but because they're desperately trying to keep us from becoming it. a thought about hurting someone we love may actually be pointing toward how deeply we value kindness. a fear of losing someone may simply reveal how much we care. our minds have a strange way of showing us what matters by imagining its opposite.

that doesn't mean every intrusive thought contains some hidden truth waiting to be uncovered. many don't. sometimes they're just static. sometimes they're a tired mind trying to solve problems that don't exist. we don't have to dissect every passing thought to prove that we're okay.

maybe the practice is learning when to listen, and when to simply let a thought pass by without inviting it to stay.

our minds will always whisper.

but we get to decide which voices become our own.

07.26.26

don't look up II

don't look up

press [X} to buy.

t-shirt available on our store

07.24.26

don't look up I

press [X} to buy.

t-shirt available at our store

07.22.26

guns, god, and government

It's 2002. You just got home from school and pressed play on the VHS that understood you better than most people did.

released in 2002, guns, god and government documents marilyn manson's holy wood era with a stage show that became as controversial as it was theatrical.

alongside the full concert, the release includes the behind-the-scenes featurette the death parade.

performances spanned holy wood (in the shadow of the valley of death), mechanical animals, antichrist superstar, smells like children ep and portrait of an american family.

07.21.26

acceptance is the new drug

a lot of us spend our lives fighting things that have already happened.

we carry old conversations with us. we replay moments we wish we could change. we imagine different endings, different choices, different versions of ourselves. somewhere in the back of our minds, we keep waiting for reality to become something else.

but it doesn't.

there are things in life that will hurt no matter how prepared we are. loss. change. rejection. uncertainty. these are the parts of being alive that we don't get to negotiate with.

the strange thing is, sometimes the pain isn't the only thing hurting us. sometimes it's the fight against the pain. the endless resistance. the belief that if we just think about it enough, hate it enough, or wish hard enough, we can undo what already is.

acceptance is not saying something was okay. it isn't approval. it isn't giving up.

it's just seeing clearly.

it's putting down the argument with reality and allowing ourselves to stand where we actually are. not where we wish we were. not where we think we should be. just here.

and from there, maybe we can finally begin to move.

07.19.26

you forgot me

there are people you forget.

there are conversations you bury.

and then there are the ones that remember you.

07.18.26

no god no masters II

no god, no masters

press [X} to buy.

t-shirt available in acid wash black and classic white on our store

07.17.26

no god, no masters I

who is writing your destiny? no permission is required to become who you are. whatever meaning exists is made through your choices, your failures, and the courage to continue despite both.

buy it from our store

07.17.26

enough

you are valued. you are enough.

07.15.26

self-inflicted-I

self-harm is often misunderstood. most people don't do it because they want to be hurt—they do it because they're trying to cope with pain that feels impossible to carry. it's a destructive coping mechanism, but a coping mechanism nonetheless.

looking back, it's easy to judge the person we used to be. but that version of us wasn't asking for shame. they were asking for relief. they were asking for someone to notice. they were asking for an empathetic ear before they ever needed another scar.

healing doesn't require us to pretend those parts of our story never existed. it asks us to meet them with the compassion we couldn't always find back then.

sometimes the kindest thing we can do is stop blaming ourselves for surviving the only way we knew how.

01.01.25

here's to another year

we hope every has a great year this year, filled with cool things and fun times. here's a look at some new stuff coming down the pipeline. what are you excited for this year? also, do you follow us on instagram?

12.25.24

3d orange on camo

we'd love to do some orange logos printed on camo.what do you think?

12.17.24

fuck

new stickers coming soon! they will be available in the online store when they are here

12.15.24

move

new hoodie in store "move"

one bit of instruction always helps us out of depression and anxiety - that is to MOVE. it's said that moving a muscle can change a thought. we find that to be true. click here to visit our online store

12.13.24

no god

new shirt in store - "no god" "don't look up to someone who looks down on you."

click here to visit our online store

12.12.24

toiled away

as we toiled away, the question became clearer:

does the cacophony really need another voice?

we need to stop moving to listen for an answer, but we can't hear it from so far away.

12.12.24

helloworld

nightmarenightmare.neocities.org is online and ready for viewing. more to come soon!

in making this site we were brought back to the early 2000s when we would modify our myspace pages and work on barely-strung-togehter landing pages for the various high school bands we were in. we are not programmers in the slightest and we are greatly appreciative to everyone who has made this online space possible. without your work, we would have nothing to hack together to make this site. and also thank YOU for sitting there and reading this. we hope you enjoy your stay here.

friends